Always
by Jump.With.Jess
Summary: Is it just a bad dream or is it reality? This is a continuation of my story Forever Young, I don't think it will be the last of this string either. And once again summary's really are not my thing, sorry.


**This is not beta'd ****I tried to find all my errors. I hope that even if I did not, that you will still find this story readable.**

I sobbed and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stave off the chill of RangeMan's stairwell. The image of them laughing burned bright in my mind. Ranger face, so happy as he whirled a beautiful Latin women around the dance floor of RangeMan's annual Christmas party.

Joe and I had broken up a month and a half ago and I had hoped...Well I'm not sure what I had hoped for, things being like they are. Hearing the stairwell door open I wiped furiously at my eyes. "Babe?" I re-wrapped my arms around my waist at the sound of his voice, "Yeah?" "What are you doing in here?" "I drank to much of Lester's _special _punch, was feeling a little dizzy so..." I let out a laugh that sounded fake even too my own ears. "Your lying," I heard his light footsteps come towards me. **_'Always so light...' _**

He paused next to me for a heartbeat before he sat down. I tucked my face into my arms but he reached out and took one of my hands instead, pulling it into his lap. "I saw your face when you saw her. It's not what you think Babe." I didn't attempt to pull my hand away, what was the point. "It isn't like that Ranger...it was just..a surprise to see you with someone." I was in his lap before I realized what was happening, grabbing my chin in a gentle grip he stared into my eyes.

_'_**_Always feels like he's looking into my soul._' **I knew I must have said it aloud, when he gave me a soft smile and attempted to pull me in for a kiss. I yanked backwards, barely managing to stay balanced on his knees. I continued staring into his eyes, studying him, as the smile fell from his face. I thought for a moment I saw anger flash across his features but it was gone to quickly for me to be sure. "Word on the street was you and the cop were over for good." His voice was devoid of any emotion, his face blank.

"We are, he's with Terry now." I hadn't realized how tense he was until the words came out of my mouth. "She's not my date, she's my sister." I felt my eyes start to water, switching my stare at a point over his shoulder I responded. "Well that's too bad, I was hoping she was." I felt the air grow tense around us as he processed what I said. "Look at me Steph." I shook my head and continued to avoid his stare, giving me a little shake he spoke again. "Stephanie look at me! Why would you say that?" I finally met his eyes, he was still watching me with his patented blank face but now it was tinged with something else. Something unnameable and scary.

I nodded to myself before answering him. "I have uterine cancer, late stages. It was to late for treatment when they caught it, doc said I won't make it to the end of January." The same shock and horror that I had seen on Gran's face when I told her, was written all over his. And then it was all sealed up tight, behind that God damned blank mask again.

"When did you know?" "Two months ago, Gran's the only one I've told so far." He didn't seem to have anything else to say, just stared at me with that same unfathomable look, I'd be worried accept for the fact that it's Ranger and I've trained myself to look underneath. "New Jerseys home, but..." **_'I don't want to die surrounded by smog and the gossip vine._'**"Gran's got some friends in Italy, they own a winery. I'm going to stay with them until... well until. I'm telling my family tomorrow...Ma's going to flip but Gran's agreed too be there when I tell them.

I've already got my passport and plane ticket lined up, I'll be gone by the end of the week. I've already donated Rex to Mary Lu's kids, elementary school and my apartments already taken care of." I realized his arms had loosened from around me and his face was just...blank. Blank to the point I couldn't get any sort of read on him. I felt my stomach turn to lead and my heart move into my throat. Standing up, I was stopped from stepping away by the tight grip he had on my skirt.

Looking down into his eyes, I rested my hands lightly on his shoulders. "I hoped she was your date because I want you to be happy with someone even if it tears me apart that it's not me." I could feel the tears that had been threatening, spill over. I leaned over and grasped each side of his head pulling him towards me. Kissing his forehead I whispered against his skin, "Goodby Carlos, be happy." turning away I ran down the stares.

**Jerking awake with a gasp I reached across the bed until I found Carlos's warm back. Sobbing I tucked myself against the back of him the best I could, I felt him wake against me. "Babe what's wrong?" Pulling away from me, he sat up, clicking on the bedside light he turned to me running frantic hands over my swollen belly. "Steph what's wrong is it the bebé's ?" I shook my head, "Stupid hormones!" relief flooded his face. 'Nothing like dream him. Not cold at all.'**

Lightly chuckling

**he clicked off the light before laying back down, spooning me, he gently stroked my side until I quieted. Gradually** **his hands went from stroking my ribs where the babies kicked me the most, to stroking and playing between my spread legs. Kissing my neck he waited until I was begging, before skewering me in one thick slide. I keened and flew apart for the first time as he entered me. Starting a slow rocking pace he continued playing me through my orgasm and into the next one whispering praise in Spanish against my neck before fallowing me over the edge. When our breathing returned to normal he spoke again,**

"What was this one about?" I gave a breathy giggle before answering him. "The same one as last Friday." "

_**See**_** even our bebé's* wants you to stop eating that mierda**." "Do not pick on the Tastykakes Carlos, I **_**need **_**them." Drifting in that place between slumber and lucidity, I gently stroked the hand that covered my belly. 'Maybe he's right, a few less couldn't hurt.' I felt laughter rumble in his chest as I dozed back off. **

***Baby**

****Shit**

**This is my Tumblr** www dot tumblr dot com / blog / jumping-jess **you can find what Steph's outfit looked like and pics for my other story's.**

**I hope you enjoyed this story! I have often wished that FanFiction would add a Kudos button like A03 has, even if you don't want to wright out something you can at least let the writer know you appreciate their work. But alas, this is not the case. So please review whether good or bad and let me know what you think. It doesn't have to be long or wordy, a simple :) or :( will do! ~X~O~X~**


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